So I dropped summer quarter. After a while I've decided to catalog the reasons for me dropping it.
1. Japanese is a hard language. I'm not gonna sugar coat it with any other reasons, but it is. It's hard and I don't have it in me to do it and do it well. I know what I can and can't do.
2. I really need to get good grades. I get the feeling rushing a whole year of second year Japanese is going to kill my struggling GPA and I need high grades for exchange programs I'm looking into my Senior Year.
3. Financially unneeded. I plan on minoring in Japanese which requires only three years of Japanese. Therefore, second year can be taken my junior year and my third year will count for Japanese language requirement and I will be done. This is more financially acceptable.
4. I can work alot. Not much of a reason, but 40 hour weeks is appealing to one with little money.
5. Let's be real. I'm lazy. I need this time off. And I'm sort of a pussy. But oh well.
I guess the real reason I'm pissed off, is because of how much I feel like a burden. It always feels that whatever I do, whether it's right or wrong, it comes at a steep price. Like there are always dire consequences on a financial or psychological scale. Which means that in order to appease I must bend over and take it in the ass. I am of course, referring to the relationship with my parents.
Recently I talked to my brother about this problem and he told me. "Well you should just do whatever they tell you."
It might be because I've been at this liberal college for a while, but whenever someone tells me to "just do something because someone else tells you to" I seriously question that logic and most likely shoot off in the other direction. To me, if you follow that line of logic then you are a tool.
But that's not so bad, because in some ways, it makes things easier. You just don't have a mind of your own.
